So many times the new year sees articles about the ‘new’ wedding trends, what colour palette, how the trendy groom will be attired, not to mention “the dress”….
Having been around the wedding scene for quite a while, I scream inwardly…”really?”
You see, weddings are SUCH a consumer affair. A lot of industries benefit from making couples think they MUST HAVE every last wedding related service and gizmo. The moment you start to plan a wedding, the layers of what every bride and groom must have/buy/beg/borrow/steal increases exponentially until it has the capacity to do your head in.
i really admire couples who make their wedding day their own, couples who question tradition, and somehow manage to retain the meaning of the day without all the consumerism and frippery. Be daring, throw out the ‘shoulds’ and other peoples expectations and jointly commit to taking control of your wedding planning.
Lets face it, some wedding traditions come from pretty crazy beginnings
flowers - to cover the scent of the bride and wears off evil spirits
wearing white - dates back to Queen Victoria as an act of rebellion
bridal party - to disguise the bride to prevent kidnapping
groom on left - so his right hand is free to draw his sword and protect his bride should a fiery dragon appear
I actually salute couples who shake it up and dare to do it their own way. Who said the bride has to make a ‘grand entrance’, and with marriage equality, this tradition is really being turned on its head. Some couples even mingle with guests before the ceremony, or take an opportunity for a photo shoot so they can be present with guests after the ceremony (not rushing off for the traditional prolonged photo shoot, thus missing all the fun!)
Gone are the days of ‘matchy matchy’ bridal parties….grooms ‘girls’ and brides ‘boys’ rock, and let your team choose clothing that actually suits them and they may wear again!
No couple ever felt ‘less married’ because they didn’t have a photo booth at the reception!
Recent years have seen a trend towards destination elopements, also called ‘micro luxe’ weddings, where the guest list is small and intimate, there is often a getaway involved, or a very exclusive fine dining affair. Couples are treating themselves to a grand experience but limiting it to a very elite group of special people. This deliberate rejection of doing what is traditional or expected speaks of maturity, being in control and putting the relationship at the forefront.
Which leads me to the vows. Couples are increasingly relishing the opportunity to write their own vows; these are brave and confident couples, many of whom have waited a long time for the opportunity to marry! They relish the opportunity to ditch the traditional wording and speak to one another from the heart.
I challenge couples to resist the ‘fairytale trap’ but to reflect carefully on your own core values so that your marriage feels honest and authentic.
After all, your marriage is not the end goal, it is the pathway into a lifelong, fulfilling relationship.